Which wiener was the winner?
November’s cold weather shouldn’t stop you from sneaking in a final BBQ (and many more tailgates). To help you do this in a money savvy way, Michael J Cirino taste- and price-tested different hot dogs. Here’s what he found.
The other day, I set out to compare hot dog brands on the basis of taste and affordability.
This thesis sounded simple enough, but I quickly realized that there were more criteria in play. So, with a little help from 20 friends, we broke everything down into the following areas: size, texture/color (pre-cooking), ability to pair with condiments, juiciness, and of course, taste.
Now, I know what you’re thinking—hot dogs? Didn’t Dan Aykroyd refer to them as, “lips and (something I might not be allowed to say on this weblog site)”? Yes, he did, but that was a movie. This is real life, and hot dogs are delicious and cheap.
WHAT IS A TYPICAL HOT DOG?
To start, we needed some ground rules for our competition. Most importantly, what is a “hot dog”?
According to Wikipedia (a source not recommended for academic papers, but for hot dog blogs—why not?): “A hot dog is a sausage served in a sliced bun, very often garnished with mustard, ketchup, onions, mayonnaise, relish, cheese, chili and/or sauerkraut.”
These “sausages” (let’s be honest here, sausages needs quotes; hot dogs need buns) are usually made from beef or pork, lean trimmings, and fat. Minimally, they are flavored with salt, garlic, and paprika.
What separates good hot dogs from the truly ugly ones is balance—mustard seed, celery seed (great source of nitrates), curing salt (a much more aggressive source of nitrates), white and black pepper, mace, and some kind of sweetener, hopefully dextrose.
THE HOT DOGS WE REVIEWED
I tried to find hot dogs that had the largest distribution nationally: Sabrett, Ballpark, Nathans, and Hebrew National. As an outlier, we picked a local, high-end product from D’Artagnan ($8.99). This was done to set a “high bar” to compare against.
Again, I know what you’re thinking: No Oscar Mayer? Strangely enough, I had trouble finding Oscar Mayer (five supermarkets, two bodegas, and a food truck later, nothing). So yeah, I understand if you feel this evaluation is skewed—but let’s remember, this is just a hot dog tasting, not a final exam or a presidential debate.
To make things fair, we boiled and grilled all hot dogs, and all the buns were Martin’s Potato rolls, lightly glazed with mayo and grilled until toasted (a method I highly recommend if you have never tried it before). Oh, and if you are looking for creative topping choices, give this a peek.
THE RESULTS
Hebrew National was the “wiener” (you are welcome for that pun), with the most first-place votes. They bested Sabrett by slim margins in texture, flavor, and seasoning. Both of these competitors were roughly the same size, though the cleanness of flavor and lower salinity of the Sabrett really allowed them to fair the best against luxury outlier (which was admittedly quite tasty).
The data collected from the 20 “random” people hanging out in my backyard for the taste testing gave second place unanimously to Nathans. The longer shape, tighter snap, and higher spice led them to receive an overwhelming 14 out of 20 second-place votes.
RECOMMENDATIONS
The pricing of hot dogs does not vary so significantly that anyone should ever be forced to choose their dogs contingent on cost.
The biggest value that we found was making sure the number of hot dogs in the pack matched the number of buns in a pack. This whole six or eight thing is just ridiculous. You either have two bun-less wieners (which is never fun) or two empty buns.
Both of those options are a financial calamity and a Greek-styled tragedy for cheap snacking.
Do you know of a food (like hot dogs) that’s good and cheap no matter what brand you go for? Let us know in the comments.
(Photo: Michael J Cirino)